


Love like you

by Junimeow



Category: Figure Skating RPF, Olympics RPF
Genre: 1º person pov, 2018 Winter Olympics, Angst, Experimental Style, First Person, Fluff, Future Fic, Happy Ending, Love, M/M, Mentions of other skaters, Nathan Chen/Shoma Uno cameo, No Dialogue, Romance, Season 2017-2018, Self-Doubt, Songfic, angsty, experimental writting, fake deep, mentons of retirement, proposal, season 2018-2019, season 2019-2020, trail of thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 22:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13727175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junimeow/pseuds/Junimeow
Summary: What happens in Javi's life after the Olympics and how things between yuzu and him change and develop.((Love like you was written by Rebecca Sugar))





	Love like you

**Author's Note:**

> This story is written in Javier's POV and it doesn't change.

**If I could begin to be**

**Half of what you think of me**

**I could do about anything**

**I could even learn how to love**

There it was, it was mine, the Olympic medal I’ve waiting for so long, it’s finally mine. I can’t hold my tears, this is true, this is real. As I can’t stop the stream of tears falling down my face, I approach both Shoma and Yuzuru, who are happily goofing off, and I embrace them. I can feel them both hugging back and I now. It’s time, time to tell him that this is probably my end. The end of my career. I can feel his sadness and I see tears falling from his eyes as he shakes my shoulder back and forth, trying to cope with my words. _‘I can’t do it without you’_ you say, but, deep down, I know you can and you will. _‘stay strong’_ I say back, trying to cheer you and give you strength.

You are very special Yuzu, so, so special. I wish I could love like you, keep going and going after the amount of suffering you’ve passed through years, and yet here you are, holding proud your Olympic champion title. I know you can do it, even if I’m not there. You are a king Yuzu. _‘don’t doubt yourself.’_

You think of me as a champion, but I’m no means another dreamer. You are the true and unique champion, and I wish you could see it.

**When I see the way you act**

**Wondering when I'm coming back**

**I could do about anything**

**I could even learn how to love**

**Like you**

It’s passed some months of my announcement. I could still remember you crying on the podium of worlds beside me, lowering yourself from your golden position and coming to my bronze one and hug me with sheer strength. I hug you back because this is it, the end. The end for me, but not for you. You have still some years ahead of you, dreams and achievements left…

Back at the press conference you say such amazing words about me that I can’t answer the question asked next. You really think all of that? You see me as your idol, as one of your heroes? You compared me with Weir and Plushenko? That’s actually one of the most beautiful thing that I’ve ever heard about me.

After the gala, after skating to Danny Boy, you step on the Ice, cladded in your swan costume, and you hug me again, in front of the crowd, giving them a true goodbye. I can hear you whispering in my ear, asking me to wait for you after the banquet, promising me another gift. A parting ways gift.

Back in one park of Milano, you give me one of your necklaces, those necklaces that had been with you for a very long time. I can’t accept them, but you insist, and I have no other choice to take it. You willingly ask if you can’t put it in my neck, and I let you. I can feel your delicate movements and your steady breath all the way and I know it’s time. To tell you my deepest secret. One secret that I’ve been holding since you gave me your gold medal at Sochi.

You cry for the ninth time today, but I know those are tears of joy. We kiss lightly in the dark, below a lamppost and everything, suddenly, feels right.

Now I see you training with Brian, and I can enjoy your skating without any bad feelings inside, but now, I’m the one preparing upcoming stars. The little kids adore me, but I don’t know why. I’m nothing special, just a dreamer that did his best.

**I always thought I might be bad**

**Now I’m sure that its true**

**‘cause I think you’re so good**

**And I’m nothing like you**

I cheer for you back in Canada, after seeing you claim the silver medal at the GPF. I can see that your capacity is being challenged by the rules and the kids. I see you hugging Nathan, congratulating him and his victory and I can see your smile as you pet Shoma’s head after he gets bronze.

Sometimes I still question myself. How could you accept my proposal? I’ve kept you waiting for so long, but still you accept my love. You are the actual king, both on the ice and at my heart.

When we video chat I can see your sadness and disappointment. I’m sorry I couldn’t go, but I had to take care of Stephen’s training since Brian and Tracy left. That kid is actually really good, he’s going to challenge your records in little to no time.

I fall sleep at the sound of your voice speaking your mother tongue. You put me at ease, you calm my nerves. You always did.

**Look at you go**

**I **just adore you****

****I wish that I knew** **

****What makes you think I'm so special****  
 

I see that you brought back **_let’s go crazy_** , at least as an exhibition. I can’t enjoy the choreography as much with all the yelling of your fans. Even thought you couldn’t get it’s potential out while using it as a SP, now you let your inner showman off, and that makes me glad.

You come back to Toronto and you put your bronze medal around my neck, like old times. I can see your eyes shining with happiness and success. I’m proud of you. And you are proud of me, somehow.

After making love, you hold me like I’m the most precious thing on Earth. But, it’s actually the contrary. You may not know how much I adore you, or maybe you do, but you don’t want to say anything. As I listen to your heartbeats, the question that’s been inside my head replies itself until I fall asleep.

_“What makes you think I’m so special, Yuzu?” what did you see in me that made you and me better?” “What can you see that I can’t”_

During my sleep, I can see myself going back to the ice, just to share more moments together, and a small idea begins to grow on my mind. I cannot wait to surprise you.

**If I could begin to do**

**Something that does right by you**

**I would do about anything**

**I would even learn how to love**

You made history again, my king. You just landed the quadruple axel and snatched the GPF gold that was taken from you two years ago. But you already seem tired, like you can’t keep going.

Meanwhile, without your knowledge, I came back to training my old programs. I want to do ice shows again, I want to experience the feel of adrenaline running in my veins while doing a jump, the dizziness after a spin, the feeling of freedom while sliding and performing my step sequence.

I want to surprise you. To see if you answer my questions, even if I have to ask you with the figure skating language. To invite you to answer me in the same way.

Whenever we fall in bed and lose ourselves in pleasure, I can see you suspecting about the changes in my body. The new, regained muscles showing every once in a while. You ask, but I don’t answer, at least not yet.

After some days, after telling you that I’m coming back, to do ice shows again, you hug me until I lose my breath. Seeing your smile at that, makes me feel full. Like I deserve the love of the mighty Hanyu.

It’s nearly our two years anniversary and you finally managed to win four continents, after struggling so much during the past, you finally did it. You hug me before and after the press conference, Shoma rolling his eyes and calling us bakas, before smiling slightly and Nathan give us a thumbs up as he approaches the small Japanese skater, and places a kiss on his cheek, making Shoma flush and whine.

And then after some great celebration sex, you tell me that you plan to retire after worlds, having nothing left to achieve. I can’t accept it, 25 it’s still young, you can keep going, like Patrick and I did. But I’m not going to change your mind.

That makes me think about a future, the two of us together, you choreographing and I coaching, making our own skating emporium in Spain or Japan. And I end up realizing something.

I want to spend the rest of my days with you.

**When I see the way you look**

**Shaken by how long it took**

**I could do about anything**

**I could even learn how to love like you**

You don’t know anything, but I’ve been invited to this year’s worlds gala to perform Two of my most popular skates: Guys and Dolls and Modern times. It’s really hard handing it from you, know that you are also hiding something.

I see your disappointment of being left out of the podium after so long, the kids, now not so young, taking your place and making their own steps in history. You still don’t know that I’m her with you, I want to surprise you. And surprise everyone else.

Brian and Tracy look at me while I get ready in my **_guys and dolls_** costume and they smile with nostalgia. When I finish I look at myself at the looker room mirror and like a wave, the memories of winning my second worlds come back, alongside other memories involving a woman and her child. The memories of your possible ending carrier injury come too, and that makes me surer that you aren’t human. You were sent by Olympia to bless us with your performances, an Olympic angel that, strangely fell for a dreamer, a slave to Olympia’s orders, a nobody in the sport.

When I take the ice you aren’t there, and that disappoints me, but I can understand that you’re still getting ready, even though the loud cheering from skaters, coaches and the crowd at the same time. It surprises me more that you can’t hear the music. But I’m not going to question you, my devious king. My precious. The person that’ll love until I die.

It’s when I see you skating to requiem of heaven and earth that I understand. You’re performing your goodbyes to the sport. Closing a chapter in your life. But I hope that you want to write a new one with me by your side.

It’s when you finish that you make a movement with your arms to shut everyone and I first notice the mic in your costume. With heavy wavering voice you announce it. You a re retiring for once and for all.

It’s when you finish when the crowd erupts again. Surprised you turn just to see me, in my characteristic black suit that I use to perform on ice. Your eyes widened before we slowly approach each other, and we melt in a hug, in the exact center of the rink. You start crying, not believing that I’m here, so everything be dammed, because I close the space between our mouths in a sweet chaste kiss. The cheers grow while you wrap your arms around me.

After it, I separate from your form and I get on my knee. You seem to know what’s going to happens, because you cover your mouth with a hand. I put my heart in my mouth as I propose to you in the most romantic way I can get, and when you nod repeatedly and launch yourself in my arms, I can feel the answer. The answer I’ve been waiting so long.

I’m never going to love me like you do love me, but that’s okay. Because I’ll try my best to love and cherish you the way you deserve.

My king, my beloved Yuzu, my husband.

_Mi amor._

**Author's Note:**

> I had to, ok?
> 
> That song maches them perfectly, considering Javier's way of thinking about himself most of the time.
> 
> And I needed something both angsty and with a happy ending. So, hope you enjoyed.
> 
> See ya!


End file.
